Tag Archives: love

This has been a weird weekend. I’ve either been partying or in pajamas and nothing in between. Kendall is pretty badly under the weather so we’ve hunkered down and Netflixed and chilled. This included the first six episodes of American Horror Story: Cult. It’s good! 10/10 would recommend especially because this season is very Evan Peters heavy. He’s been a celebrity crush of mine since he was in Sleepover because he’s hilarious and adorable.

AHS Quote Digital Print

I have gotten really into the whole AHS franchise. Yea, it’s gory, but the characters have kind of a sweet sadness about them, even the “bad” ones. While Freak Show was my favorite season, my favorite moment was actually in Murder House between Tate (Peters) and Violet (Taissa Farmiga). He gave her a rose painted black because a normal rose just wouldn’t cut it.

So I thought it was adorable. Keeping with the Halloween theme for last week, and because we watched like 6 hours of AHS this weekend, I was inspired to do the above print. It’s now available in my shop.

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If you are your partner currently live in the same area, you might think that you have dodged the possibility of having to deal with a long distance relationship. While this is probably the case, it’s impossible to know what the future may hold. One of TV’s most enduring couples – Monica and Chandler in Friends – still found themselves at the mercy of a long distance relationship due to circumstance, so it’s fair to say the same can happen to any couple. Kendall and I obviously do not have a long-distance relationship, but he often has to travel for the Mississippi National Guard and now his work at Starship is requiring a little bit of travel too. Sometimes it’s like ahhhh  I can watch Housewives judgement freeeeee… and sometimes I come home and watch videos of soldiers returning from deployment and cry myself to sleep. I’d rather him be home with me, clearly, but how I handle it depends on so many factors- how my day has gone, how long he’s been gone, etc.

Usually, it will be work that separates a couple from one another. It’s usually a temporary situation, but that doesn’t make it any easier – especially if you have become accustomed to being around each other all the time. While relocation experts can help find the right property for the person who is moving, visa specialists can help you obtain a partner visa if you decide to ultimately make a move, and various tech innovations can help you stay in touch – ultimately, your relationship’s health is going to depend on the two of you alone. When you suddenly have to live the reality of this kind of arrangement, you’ll soon discover it’s not all bad, but it’s not all good either…

Darrell McDavid Photography

The Good

When you’re not seeing one another all the time, you’ll have to become adept at keeping in touch. If you’d been together for awhile before the move, keeping in touch can be a habit you have long fallen out of. After all, when you see one another every day, the need for those cute little texts that were a permanent feature at the beginning of your relationship tends to diminish. We’re actually really good at this anyway- we touch base several times a day to make sure the other one feels loved.

Not only will you have to find new and interesting ways to talk to one another, but there’s also some truth in the idea that absence makes the heart grow fonder. You’ll be happier around one another when you do get to catch up, which can be very healthy for your relationship going forward. I’m pretty sure everyone knew Kendall + I would be together forever after last summer. He was away for a month with the army and when we reunited in Alabama in August, we road-tripped back up to DC. Twenty-five hours in the car and we were still lovebirds, having missed each other for so long.

The Bad

There’s no doubt that the lack of immediate, physical support from your partner can be challenging. There’s no calming hug at the end of a long day, or chance to curl up and watch TV together in the evening. This was particularly awful when I was having a rough time and work when Kendall was in CA for about two months. Sure, you can chat over Skype, but it never manages to quite feel the same… and sometimes you don’t even have that. Sometimes on his missions, Kendall won’t have access to phone service or wifi.

If you don’t learn how to communicate effectively, then problems are going to develop very quickly. Trust is a real issue in long distance relationships, so if you can’t nail this aspect, then things could begin to derail before you even know you have a problem.

The Reality

The truth is, long distance relationships are not good and they are not bad. The success of such an arrangement depends entirely on you as a couple, and how much effort you’re willing to put into keeping things alive. If you’re willing to work hard to keep the lines of communication open and be willing to make sacrifices in the future to keep things working, then you’ll be fine. Challenged and pushed to the limit perhaps, but there’s a good chance your relationship will actually emerge stronger.

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We’ve all been there, right? Walking through town, or strolling through a park, or along the beach, when an impossibly happy couple catches our eye and holds it for a few seconds too long and, in those few seconds, we wonder to ourselves, “what is their secret?” This is totally normal. It is totally normal and healthy to want happiness in your lives and to want to be in the happiest of happy relationships.

Well, I’ve got some fantastically quirky words of advice, which I’m totally going to share with you.

Act Like You Just Met

It could be that you have been together for eight months, or you could have been sharing a bed for eight years, it doesn’t matter; try spending a little bit of time each and every day acting like you only just met. The reason for this is time. Yeah, time has a way of stopping us from exploring each other because we think we know everything there is about them. Don’t let this happen. Pretend like you still have so much to find out because you still do. Ask each other questions, loads of questions, like what would you do with the money if you won the lottery if you could fly where would you fly, and what they thought of that episode of Breaking Bad. The daily grind gets boring, but fresh questions bring about a fresh love.

Date Night Box

Do More Date Nights

When you first met, it was all about impressing each other, getting experiences together and celebrating the privilege of spontaneity as you ran off some adventure you would never have done alone. Don’t let this enthusiasm fade over time. Date nights are the not-so-secret secret of happy couples. If you don’t know where to start, then go on https://www.theticketmerchant.com.au/ and buy a ticket to the first event that makes either of you smile. Sports, music, whatever. Getting involved in what the other person loves is such a great way to bond with a smile. Or better yet, book a date that will surprise you both, find that new band or new film or new restaurant that could take you on a whole new journey together; one that creates happy memories.

Mr and Mrs Stemless Wine Glasses

Watch The Booze

By all means, go out and have fun on the town together, or enjoy a  bottle of wine on a Friday night, curled up on the sofa together with the latest episode of the whatever you’re binging on Netflix. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact, unwinding as a couple and sharing a few tipsy laughs is great for the soul. But don’t over do it. Basically, less booze means less things you’ll have to worry about. Research has shown that a relationship can be shaken and stirred by too much booze. As http://www.lifehack.org states, young adults who drink heavily are less likely to have fun in the sheets, less likely to wed, more likely to separate sooner and will be less happy in the long run. So, yeah, just know your limits and enjoy each other’s bubbly self without any accessories to this joy.

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Whatever it is you have planned for today, I ask that you take a moment to remember what Memorial Day actually means. It is a time to remember those who lost their lives serving this country. Whether or not you believe in the causes behind war, please remember that these brave men and women signed up to fight for your right to have those beliefs. By all means, use the day as time to spend with family and enjoy, but please don’t forget what today is really about. I’m lucky in that the love of my life, my best friend, is only currently away for a short while and I’ll see him in less than a month. Others are not so lucky.

My heart goes out to everyone who has lost a loved one in the United States Armed Services. May their sacrifice never be forgotten.

A verse for all who currently serve in the United States Armed Services:

Psalm 144:1-2 “Of David. Blessed be the Lord, my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle; he is my steadfast love and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield and he in whom I take refuge, who subdues peoples under me.”

A verse for those who we lost in their service:

John 15:13 “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

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So completely inspired by Kristyn’s post last week,  I started contemplating my own spiritual journey. I say journey, because honestly, I don’t think you can ever stop growing in your relationship with God or the church, whatever either of those might mean for you.

Corinthians 13:4 bible verse print

Recently, as in the past couple of years, I’ve felt a connection with the church in ways that I haven’t in a long time. I grew up with church every Sunday, Vacation Bible School every summer (attending and then as a counselor) and when I was in college, there wasn’t a church family on campus that I felt connected to. As an Episcopalian, I wasn’t permitted to take communion at the Catholic service, but the protestant service just wasn’t for me- much more evangelical than what I grew up with. To be honest, the Catholic service would have been a much better fit, with a very similar service structure and basically the same prayers, but communion has been a big part of my church life since I was little. Although my church did have an official “First Communion” service for the kids in my age group, I was allowed to partake after several weekly lessons with my mom and proving to her that I knew what the wine + wafer meant.

When I came home from college though, I became a lot more involved at St. John’s Olney. Unless I was working (dang retail hours!) I went to church. I became active in the outreach committee with Baby’s Bounty and it was nice to go back to surrounding myself with the church family that watched me grow up. As with Kristyn, I found that moving into DC took another toll on my spiritual life, until I went to my friend Matthew’s confirmation and started going to St. John’s Lafayette with him and a group of EpiscoPALS. I had what I like to call at God moment at that church. It was the Epiphany service and there was a bit of a mini pageant when we sang We Three Kings. As we sang the final chorus, for the first time, I cried in church just because I was overwhelmed by God. It’s so hard to explain, but it was a moment I can never forget.

I was very, very lost for a few years, probably more than most people ever even saw. My heart had been broken over and over again and I wasn’t treating myself very well. I often look back on some of my behavior and cringe. But God stood by me, and kept listening. I recently had a long talk with a family friend about my engagement and he asked me, “do you know who had to do what to make sure that you ended up with Kendall? This was planned.” It was planned. I prayed for Kendall not knowing who he was or when I’d find him. So did my (friend’s) Grandma Bernice. She literally walked up to me at Tiffany + Patrick’s rehearsal dinner and said to me, “Hello I am Grandma Bernice. We know each other on Facebook and I pray on my rosary every night that you will get married and I’ll come to your wedding too.”

I believe in the power of prayer. As a little girl, I saw my congregation pray for a girl my age who became paralyzed during surgery and was never supposed to walk again. Within 24 hours, her toes could move and later on we ended up in the same high school dance company. I was stuck in a snow storm in a convertible and lost- Lord’s Prayer over and over until I could make it safely to a family friend’s house. Prayed for a special love all my life (literally since I was old enough to pray silently by myself) and to quote Kristyn: God showed up and showed off! I thank him every day for my blessings and the people in my life and a running list of things that I know are on the hearts of my friends as well. My mom may have been instrumental in getting me to church, but my relationship with God + my many guardian angels is one that I have had to foster on my own through the years. I’m nowhere near where I want to be spiritually, but I’m working on it.

I want to leave you with my favorite words from the Bible, you may have already seen them if you looked it up from my Instagram bio. This describes perfectly how I feel about my faith:

Do not remember the sins of my youth
    and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me,
    for you, Lord, are good. –Pslam 25:7

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The above post may contain affiliate links and I may receive compensation if you click on any of the above links and/ or make a purchase from those links. Opinions are my own. Thank you for supporting the brands that I love!