For Valentine’s Day, you probably knew I’d bring some #shecheckedyes wedding content. Almost a year later, and I’m still sharing. I have no less interest in weddings than I did before Kendall and I got married, and that’s why this blog has remained/ become half a wedding blog.
For maybe the first time ever, I picked the picture for this post before I picked the actual content, but when I read Heather’s post about first looks, I told her that I was inspired to write my own coming from kind of a different place. Whereas she said she is not a sentimental person, I am the biggest sentimental fool on the planet, and I thought I would bring a different perspective to the table.
When I first heard about first looks years ago, I was wholeheartedly against them. Wouldn’t it ruin the big moment walking down the aisle to your betrothed? Short answer: ab-so-freaking-lutely NAHT. My MOH was the first bride I knew to do a first look and I asked her about this. She said it definitely didn’t take away from the aisle moment but it gave you an extra moment between bride and groom that’s even more powerful.
The other thing was, in a very short span of time, I was in a bunch of weddings. The ones with the first look went exponentially smoother. Case in point? My childhood beastie’s planner, when I asked him if we were on schedule as we lined up, told me no. We were three minutes behind. In wedding time, that’s early. Speaking of early, the limo driver we had for our wedding, who had been married three times himself, told me that I was the only bride he’d ever had who was delivered to the church early. I’m so proud of that.
I’d also asked photographers what they thought of the first look and every one I talked to agreed that it helped make things run smoother. We had a fairly large wedding/ wedding party, so anything to help with that was great by me. Knocking out all the formal family/ wedding party pictures before the ceremony was such a great way to gather everyone together, as well. We were all in one place to get in the transportation and nobody had to be rounded up! We took a few pictures in the church after the ceremony, a few at the hotel under the marquis, but for the most part, our photogs got great candids once we said the “I Dos” and that’s exactly what I wanted.
Kendall was at first reluctant to do a first look for the same reasons I was, but changed his mind when I reminded him that getting formal pictures out of the way would mean less “work” for us after the ceremony. Although we both agreed that nothing took away from seeing each other in the church, it did help get some tears out of the way beforehand. I’m a crier. Big time. And no, that doesn’t mean I didn’t cry at the ceremony because I definitely did.
I asked Kendall if he had any thoughts he wanted me to add to this post about doing a first look. He told me that he felt calm until he heard my elevator arrive and then a swarm of emotions came over him. Doing a first look made him calmer for the ceremony, but it didn’t take away from that moment for him either.
Just as an aside, there is NOTHING like walking through a crowd of people from every part of your life to the love of your life. The only way I can explain it is that it’s just like this (starting at 2:06):
And everyone looks at you exactly like that, too.
I wouldn’t trade my first look for a anything. It was so magical getting to see my groom and have him see me in my dress after all the jitters and stress of getting ready. It was just the two of us.
The only thing that can be tricky is finding a place in your venue or where you’re getting ready where nobody else will be around. We were on the mezzanine of The Mayflower and while we were mostly in a corner by ourselves, people could still see us and there was some clapping which was annoying. My MOH had the same issue where there was a big window to the balcony where they had their first look and nobody was supposed to watch, but of course people did. In the scheme of things, it really doesn’t matter because it’s still your moment.
Last a piece of advice regarding first looks, photography, and timelines- listen to your photographers (and planners- if you have them!). I thought I had the perfect timeline in my head which was getting to the church super early and doing the first look and all the formal photos there. Darrell and Tabitha together told me that it would make more sense to utilize the beautiful Mayflower lobby for pictures and not get to the church so early. Luckily, honestly for myself, I was not a bridezilla and open to options. I’m so glad I listened to them because I couldn’t have been more pleased!
Did you do a first look? Are going to? Why or why not?
photos by Darrell McDavid photography
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