We get bombarded with the notion of perfection, we see what others accomplish and how they live, and we can’t help but compare ourselves to what we see. This is what leads so many of us to always second guess ourselves, to always doubt and always drive ourselves to do better without giving ourselves credit for what we’ve achieved so far. Well, enough is enough. We all have to learn some self-love and see just how better and how much more we can accomplish when we stop being so hard on ourselves.
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Make time for yourself
When was the last time you gave yourself a chance to be happy by yourself? Break out of the cycle, shut the computer down, turn off the phone and give yourself some ‘you time’ Take yourself on a date, whether it’s going to the cinema to see a movie you’re excited about or going on a city break to place you’ve always wanted to go. Take a class and start a hobby. Get creative with no goal but exploring your own mind. Every now and then we should take a day of looking after our mood.
Stop the self-neglect
Loving yourself as you are is important, but we are all works-in-progress. No-one feels like they are ‘done’. We all recognize we have some potential, so we should neglect it because we don’t think we’re worth the time. Don’t focus on your flaws and how others might see them, but work on improving yourself for your own sake. If you don’t like your smile, look at modern dental solutions so you can feel confident in your own smile. If you want to lose weight, then find manageable solutions for your own health, not how you worry people think you look. Whatever your goals for self-improvement are, make sure that it’s about the self. That’s the key to confidence, not the perception of others.
Keep your boundaries
When your self-esteem is low, it’s all too easy to let people walk all over you. You squeeze your feelings into a little, dense ball of lead that just weighs on you from the inside. It’s time to put your foot down. This doesn’t mean being nasty, it means recognizing your boundaries. Make a list of what’s important to you and what hurts you the most. Don’t tolerate people that continuously cross those boundaries. The truth is that most people will check their behavior when they realize that it can be so personally hurtful to another. They don’t share your perspective or all of your values, so simply laying the boundaries can cause them to be more respectful and allows you have a more honest relationship with them.
As a final note, the next time you feel like being hard on yourself, talk to the person in the mirror. Treat her as if she was someone different from you. Does she really deserve kind of scorn you can show yourself? Would you say it to her? Treating yourself as well as you treat other people is the minimum we can expect from ourselves.
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