Ok. Wasn’t sure if I was going to post it but as I sat to type this post, I think it’s needed. For me, for anyone else having a hard time with body confidence right now.
When I left the house to go meet up with Sarah in this outfit, I honestly thought I looked really cute. But then I saw these pictures and had a very long moment, like a week, of who is this whale?
I am not kind to myself. I never have been, consistently at least. I’ll have dayum girl moments, but it feels as though they’re few and far between these days. It’s something that I’m working on and probably something I will always have to try for. My weight has been up and down pretty much forever. When I graduated from college, after 4 years of whipped cream vodka, bagels, and late night Fatshack, I was only what I could call swollen. I’ve shown friends pictures from my college graduation and they’re surprised it’s me. A combination better diet, a lot less drinking of sugary cocktails, a fun-employment the following summer to allow for max gym time, and then working at Pier One (moving furniture for a living) led to a loss of 30/40 pounds. Then I got an office job, twenty of those came right back. Recently, I was weighed at my well-woman exam, and I’ve surpassed my previous heaviest weight.
I’m at a little bit of a loss, you guys. I’ve been making my own vegan lunches for work, I pack my own healthy breakfast, I can’t even remember the last cheese steak I had, and I do yoga/ work out a few times a week. I don’t drink soda, rarely eat pasta, and prefer a salad to a burger. I even get enough sleep- which I now know thanks to my tracker. What am I doing wrong? Is it just my metabolism slowing down? Do I even look as bad as I feel? I really have no idea.
I appreciate any feedback from women (or even man) who have been/ are going through the same thing.
And I guess I should just be kinder to myself, for starters.
photos by Sarah
Outfit details:
Joanna bag {courtesy of} Urban Expressions||Holographic Leather Triple Wrap Tassel Bracelet
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First of all, I think you look beautiful. And this outfit and bag are both major wins.
You eat healthy and do so much yoga! Perhaps you gained muscle? It could have to do with hormone balance and stress levels? How are you sleeping? Anyways, at the end of the day it is most important to FEEL good about yourself! Love you lots.
-Rox